Hi, I’m Kayla Sox. I test things. Gadgets, apps, coffee gear—you name it. Last year I tried something different. I treated Objectivist ethics like a tool and used it in my daily life. (For another first-person account, see this candid year-long field test of Objectivist ethics.)
That tester impulse doesn’t stop at productivity software; I run the same rational-self-interest checklist on every digital service I use—including the NSFW ones. When I recently evaluated an adult sexting platform, I asked: Is the price fair? Are the privacy settings solid? Will the experience actually add value to my life? My findings are summed up in this thorough SpankPal review that breaks down features, safety, and cost so you can decide—quickly and clearly—whether it’s worth your time and money. Likewise, if you want to apply that same checklist to real-world meet-ups instead of messaging apps, I recently poked around the Seattle-area escort listings and wrote up my quick-start take on AdultLook Renton—it lays out screening tips, pricing norms, and red-flag filters so you can judge whether arranging an in-person date there fits your own cost-benefit math.
Strange? Maybe. Helpful? Honestly, yes.
Why I Tried It
I was saying yes to everything. Extra work. Free favors. Late-night “quick fixes” that weren’t quick. My energy was low, and my mood was worse. (If you’re curious how Objectivist ideas stack up against cultural relativism, check out this side-by-side one-month comparison.)
A friend said, “Try living by rational self-interest.” He meant Objectivist ethics—think reason first, your life as your goal, and trade value for value. I rolled my eyes. It sounded cold. But my calendar was a mess, so I gave it a real shot.
What It Promises (In Plain Words)
- Use reason, not guilt.
- Put your life and joy first.
- Respect other people’s rights; no mooching, no bullying.
- Trade value for value—fair, clean deals.
Simple rules. Not always easy. (Still fuzzy on the label? Here’s a boots-on-the-ground look at what “Objectivist” even means.) If you want a crisp primer on the ethical framework itself, The Atlas Society offers an accessible overview. For background reading on where these ideas come from—and how others have applied them—take a peek at Full Context. You might also like this detailed rundown from someone who read Objectivist authors for a year.
How I Used It, For Real
Here’s where it got real, and kind of raw. (That experience echoes the findings in another year-long trial of Objectivist philosophy.)
Work: The Weekend Crunch Test
I manage content for a small tech team. Last spring, my lead asked me to work all weekend for a rush launch. Old me would’ve said yes and seethed later.
I paused and asked myself three quick questions:
- Is this rational? Will the gain outweigh the cost?
- Does this serve my long-term goals?
- Is there a fair trade here?
I said, “I can do six hours Saturday. I need Sunday for rest. If we push another weekend, I’ll need a comp day.” He said okay. We shipped Monday afternoon. The world didn’t end. My work stayed sharp, and I didn’t melt down by Tuesday. (If you’ve ever wondered whether such calculus drifts toward utilitarian thinking, here’s a journalist who actually tried living by utilitarianism and asked whether it’s objectivist or relativist.)
Money: The “Friend Discount” Thing
I run a tiny design shop on the side. A friend asked for a logo and a “friend rate.” I used to cave. This time I said, “I’ll give you my starter package. It’s fair, and I’ll deliver in a week.”
He passed. I felt a sting. But two weeks later, a referral paid full price. That month’s profit went up 12%. It wasn’t luck. It was clean trade. (That same “clean trade” theme shows up in this extended year-long trial of Objectivist philosophy.)
Family: The Car Borrow Ask
My cousin wanted my car for a long weekend. I said no. I offered rides to the airport and back. We were both clear. We stayed close. My car stayed safe. Boundaries can be kind, if you explain them with care. (One reviewer found a similar balance while living as a moral Objectivist.)
Giving: Not Duty, But Joy
Objectivist ethics doesn’t say you must give. It says you choose if it serves your values. I stopped random guilt-giving. I started funding my local middle school STEM club, where I also volunteer. It lights me up. I see kids build little robots and beam. That’s worth it to me.
Health: The Early Run
I stopped “earning” rest. I put my 30-minute morning run on the calendar like a meeting. No apology. My head got clearer. My writing got tighter. Funny how that works.
The Hard Parts (And Where It Pinched)
- People will call you selfish. I heard it twice. It stung. I’d ask, “What seems unfair?” Then I’d explain the trade I was offering. Most folks got it. (Philosopher David Enoch tackles that very accusation in his essay “Why I Am an Objectivist,” which is worth a skim.) For a more academic angle, this peer-reviewed paper dives into the tension between self-interest and moral obligation.
- Group projects need extra care. I was blunt once with a teammate. Too blunt. I fixed it by adding context: “Here’s what I can do this week. Here’s where I need help. What’s a fair split?” Clear beats sharp.
- Holidays. Oh boy. Saying no to “just one more thing” while making pie? Tense. I set small caps: I’ll do rolls, not the whole meal. Next year, someone else can host.
What Surprised Me
I thought Objectivist ethics would make me cold. It didn’t. It made me precise. I still care—a lot. But I give where I can stand tall, not slump.
Also, I felt lighter. Less resentment. Fewer “ugh” tasks. More clean yeses.
Quick Moves That Worked
- I paused before saying yes. Ten seconds. Breathe. Ask the three questions.
- I wrote terms. Even for favors. “I can edit two pages by Friday.” That’s a boundary in plain clothes.
- I tracked results in Notion. Hours, tasks, and energy. The numbers told the truth when my feelings got loud.
Where It Fell Short
- It won’t fix a toxic boss. If someone won’t trade fair, you need a new setup.
- It can sound harsh in soft spaces. I toned down the jargon. Less “rational egoism,” more “here’s a fair trade.”
- It needs courage. Saying no is a skill. I fumbled a lot at first.
Who It’s For
- Makers, freelancers, and leaders who hate fuzzy asks.
- People who over-give and then simmer.
- Anyone who wants fewer maybes and more clean yes/no choices.
Not ideal if you’re in a culture where speaking up is risky. You can still use it—but go slow and be smart.
My Rating and Why
I’d give Objectivist ethics 4.5 out of 5.
It gave me clearer days, better deals, and more honest ties. I kept my time. I kept my voice. I lost a few “we were never clear” favors—and good riddance. The half point off? It takes work to explain, and some folks won’t like it.
Final Word
Here’s the thing: putting your life first, with reason, isn’t cruel. It’s clean. It’s also brave. I’m still me—warm, chatty, too many sticky notes—but now my yes means yes. And my no? It’s kind, short, and real.
If you try it, keep the three questions handy. Speak